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Calvin Asks: Help! I'm fighting a losing battle.



I’m a mum of two girls age 7 and 9 and I’m trying hard to get and keep them interested in the sciences and engineering (my husband is an engineer) and yet I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.  No matter how many times I ask my own family and in-laws not to buy the girls stereotypical ‘girly’ presents they always do.


Both mine and my husband’s family are very traditional when it comes to family roles, the man of the house is the breadwinner and the wife keeps house and brings up the children. My mother is very disapproving of the fact that I work and is constantly making veiled comments that I’m failing as a mother because I’m not caring for my husband and children 24 hours a day.


I told my family from the start that I wanted my girls to have choices and options as they grew up and have ambitions over and above ‘find a boyfriend, get married and have kids’.  My mother and mother in law however, both insist that the girls should be ‘trained’ for a future as a wife and mother and any thoughts of a career should come second, especially a career in engineering or science.  


My husband is a member of the IET so I’ve seen lots of literature and information about encouraging girls into STEM subjects but most of it is targeted at parents and teachers. How can we change the attitudes of grandparents and other family members though?


Losing the battle - Yeovil

 
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Parents
  • Keep their interests balanced with other activities (sports, arts & crafts, etc) ultimately, they will decide what they want to do and what interests them - keep them curious!!



    That's very true Tim Jordan‍!


    I share your frustrations Yeovil, in that I try to persuade other family members not to gender stereotype my two nieces from an early age (they're now 5). Their Grandmothers have bought them dolls and prams and toy vacuum cleaners, irons, washing machines etc etc ? whereas I like to buy them a variety of presents to spark their curiosity even if they do seem a little girlie themed in the first instance.


    For example, one of my nieces loves making bath bombs, very girlie you may think, but I believe that's an opportunity for a chemistry lesson to teach her how certain compounds react together and to outside influences. I also have a 'make your own solar powered robot dog' kit for each of them too so we can sit and make it together when I see them next and I can teach them all about how sunlight can make electricity.


    My youngest niece is fascinated that her auntie (me) can make a variety of things and is always asking me to do so. I'm always explaining to her how and why things work and how they are made and put together.   Just the other day we were talking about what people do for work, she knows her Dad works with computers (software engineer) and her Mum works with money (accounts) and she then said 'You're an engineer aren't you Auntie Lisa?' ?  So I had to tell her unfortunately not but I wish I was... ?


    So I agree with Tim in that children should always have a variety of influences and it's when they don't that the paths are narrowed.  So keep on doing what you're doing and be their role model! 


    As for influencing grandparents, given that many grandparents (and other family members) are also employed in a childminder role,  I wonder if they should they have their own set of learning and education resources targeted specifically at them to encourage them to think about STEM when interacting with their grandchildren? 


    I think one of the worst things you can say to a child when they ask 'Why..?' is 'Because is does..''

    Better to say 'I don't know / I'm not sure... So let's find out together..' ?

Reply
  • Keep their interests balanced with other activities (sports, arts & crafts, etc) ultimately, they will decide what they want to do and what interests them - keep them curious!!



    That's very true Tim Jordan‍!


    I share your frustrations Yeovil, in that I try to persuade other family members not to gender stereotype my two nieces from an early age (they're now 5). Their Grandmothers have bought them dolls and prams and toy vacuum cleaners, irons, washing machines etc etc ? whereas I like to buy them a variety of presents to spark their curiosity even if they do seem a little girlie themed in the first instance.


    For example, one of my nieces loves making bath bombs, very girlie you may think, but I believe that's an opportunity for a chemistry lesson to teach her how certain compounds react together and to outside influences. I also have a 'make your own solar powered robot dog' kit for each of them too so we can sit and make it together when I see them next and I can teach them all about how sunlight can make electricity.


    My youngest niece is fascinated that her auntie (me) can make a variety of things and is always asking me to do so. I'm always explaining to her how and why things work and how they are made and put together.   Just the other day we were talking about what people do for work, she knows her Dad works with computers (software engineer) and her Mum works with money (accounts) and she then said 'You're an engineer aren't you Auntie Lisa?' ?  So I had to tell her unfortunately not but I wish I was... ?


    So I agree with Tim in that children should always have a variety of influences and it's when they don't that the paths are narrowed.  So keep on doing what you're doing and be their role model! 


    As for influencing grandparents, given that many grandparents (and other family members) are also employed in a childminder role,  I wonder if they should they have their own set of learning and education resources targeted specifically at them to encourage them to think about STEM when interacting with their grandchildren? 


    I think one of the worst things you can say to a child when they ask 'Why..?' is 'Because is does..''

    Better to say 'I don't know / I'm not sure... So let's find out together..' ?

Children
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