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Calvin Asks: Help! I'm fighting a losing battle.



I’m a mum of two girls age 7 and 9 and I’m trying hard to get and keep them interested in the sciences and engineering (my husband is an engineer) and yet I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.  No matter how many times I ask my own family and in-laws not to buy the girls stereotypical ‘girly’ presents they always do.


Both mine and my husband’s family are very traditional when it comes to family roles, the man of the house is the breadwinner and the wife keeps house and brings up the children. My mother is very disapproving of the fact that I work and is constantly making veiled comments that I’m failing as a mother because I’m not caring for my husband and children 24 hours a day.


I told my family from the start that I wanted my girls to have choices and options as they grew up and have ambitions over and above ‘find a boyfriend, get married and have kids’.  My mother and mother in law however, both insist that the girls should be ‘trained’ for a future as a wife and mother and any thoughts of a career should come second, especially a career in engineering or science.  


My husband is a member of the IET so I’ve seen lots of literature and information about encouraging girls into STEM subjects but most of it is targeted at parents and teachers. How can we change the attitudes of grandparents and other family members though?


Losing the battle - Yeovil

 
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Parents
  • I wouldn't be upset by their opinions or deterred. I'm an engineer (have been 27 years) currently in Nuclear, trustee of the IET and past Young Woman Engineer of the Year and my mum is immensely proud, she tells everyone and shows them cuttings from the newspapers about me. ?‍♀️

    I am also an avid DIYer and have done I think everything on my houses, built extensions, electrics, jobs on cars and built a caravan. ?‍?

    Although, when my mum wants a small job doing at her house, she asks me to ask my boyfriend to do it. Every time she is perplexed when I ask why she is asking for him (he's ok under supervision ? )...

    It is something that confuses me, she apologizes, but she won't change, her perception is still jobs for boys and jobs for girls... the next generation will be less so until we have enough critical mass for it not to be an issue.

    I wouldn't worry, just keep offering all opportunities to encourage well rounded children be it my two boys or your two girls and they will find their own passions!
Reply
  • I wouldn't be upset by their opinions or deterred. I'm an engineer (have been 27 years) currently in Nuclear, trustee of the IET and past Young Woman Engineer of the Year and my mum is immensely proud, she tells everyone and shows them cuttings from the newspapers about me. ?‍♀️

    I am also an avid DIYer and have done I think everything on my houses, built extensions, electrics, jobs on cars and built a caravan. ?‍?

    Although, when my mum wants a small job doing at her house, she asks me to ask my boyfriend to do it. Every time she is perplexed when I ask why she is asking for him (he's ok under supervision ? )...

    It is something that confuses me, she apologizes, but she won't change, her perception is still jobs for boys and jobs for girls... the next generation will be less so until we have enough critical mass for it not to be an issue.

    I wouldn't worry, just keep offering all opportunities to encourage well rounded children be it my two boys or your two girls and they will find their own passions!
Children
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