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Calvin Asks: Help! I'm fighting a losing battle.

CalvinTheEngineer


I’m a mum of two girls age 7 and 9 and I’m trying hard to get and keep them interested in the sciences and engineering (my husband is an engineer) and yet I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.  No matter how many times I ask my own family and in-laws not to buy the girls stereotypical ‘girly’ presents they always do.


Both mine and my husband’s family are very traditional when it comes to family roles, the man of the house is the breadwinner and the wife keeps house and brings up the children. My mother is very disapproving of the fact that I work and is constantly making veiled comments that I’m failing as a mother because I’m not caring for my husband and children 24 hours a day.


I told my family from the start that I wanted my girls to have choices and options as they grew up and have ambitions over and above ‘find a boyfriend, get married and have kids’.  My mother and mother in law however, both insist that the girls should be ‘trained’ for a future as a wife and mother and any thoughts of a career should come second, especially a career in engineering or science.  


My husband is a member of the IET so I’ve seen lots of literature and information about encouraging girls into STEM subjects but most of it is targeted at parents and teachers. How can we change the attitudes of grandparents and other family members though?


Losing the battle - Yeovil

 
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Parents
  • 0
    As a child I played with dolls and built with Lego. I learned to cook and wire a plug. I had a deep fascination with maths and things that moved.  I was happily learning a wide range of skills. This put me in a good position to choose For myself later on.

    I ended up with a degree in electrical engineering and then a PhD in engineering and was a chartered engineer by the time I was 31. No pressure from anyone. It was my choice. I loved it.

    Then I became pregnant, it went badly, and I lost my research contract. By the time I was healthy enough to work again, no one would give me an interview and I lost my career. 

    I always thought that I had been very unlucky but I have now been told that 97% of women in STEM careers lose their careers. Still want your daughters to enter a STEM profession?

    The challenges faced by women in STEM are often talked about and their are initiatives to help somewhat.

    I brought my daughter up with as many skills and experiences as possible and let her choose for herself. It was a huge relief when she became a dentist.

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  • 0
    As a child I played with dolls and built with Lego. I learned to cook and wire a plug. I had a deep fascination with maths and things that moved.  I was happily learning a wide range of skills. This put me in a good position to choose For myself later on.

    I ended up with a degree in electrical engineering and then a PhD in engineering and was a chartered engineer by the time I was 31. No pressure from anyone. It was my choice. I loved it.

    Then I became pregnant, it went badly, and I lost my research contract. By the time I was healthy enough to work again, no one would give me an interview and I lost my career. 

    I always thought that I had been very unlucky but I have now been told that 97% of women in STEM careers lose their careers. Still want your daughters to enter a STEM profession?

    The challenges faced by women in STEM are often talked about and their are initiatives to help somewhat.

    I brought my daughter up with as many skills and experiences as possible and let her choose for herself. It was a huge relief when she became a dentist.

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