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Calvin Asks: How do I handle sexism at work?

CalvinTheEngineer

I've just started an adult apprenticeship as the first female in this specific trade.

Mostly I've felt welcomed but there is one colleague that, well, isn't welcoming.

So far I've tried not reacting but he seems to escalate because hes not getting a response. When I do respond, he becomes almost unresponsive and near impossible to work with (he will simply blank me). It's like he goads me but then becomes upset that a woman has 'questioned' him. Other colleagues have commented on how rude he can be towards me but mostly keep clear of it (I don't blame them).

I'm mostly asking for advice from other women working in engineering. How do i handle this? 

This job requires a great deal of trust in the people you're working with so I don't want to report him just yet as I know this could make others wary of working with me. At the same time I don't want to listen to his comments of "all women are prostitutes" and "once a woman's been bred they're no good" as well as being blanked completely.

Please help!

Exasperated of Exeter. 

 

Need advice but  too shy to ask? Have a question of a sensitive nature and would prefer to remain anonymous? Need to get something off your chest but worried about the boss (or your colleagues) finding out? Then Ask Calvin! Submit your questions confidentially to AskCalvin@theiet.org and Calvin will ask the community on your behalf to give you the anonymity you want to find the advice you need.
 

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    It is hard to say without any context, whether the comments you describe have been directed at you, or reported to you by others. It is possible, that the comments are a misplaced attempt at “black humour” or “banter”. 

    This is the sort of thing that was common in all-male workplaces a generation ago and the person may just be a “dinosaur”. 

    You can choose to confront it informally, personally and/or with the support of an assertive colleague, or supervisor. 

    If this behaviour was reported to more senior management, or a HR function, when one exists, then it would seem to be potential grounds for disciplinary action.

    Taken at face value these comments could be a serious example of bullying and harassment, worse than instances of wolf-whistling, cat calling or leering, that reputable employers mostly stamped out many years ago. Immediate dismissal, could potentially be a justified response by the employer, in my opinion, depending on any potential mitigating factors. 

    If this were a contracting situation, then I might expect the person to be excluded by the main contractor/client.  If such comments were directed at you in a hostile fashion, then the behaviour is potentially a criminal offence.   

    Having written the response, I noted your comment “I'm mostly asking for advice from other women working in engineering”. So sorry for jumping in, I just spotted the post by chance on a relatively infrequent foray into the forums. For full disclosure, I’m a Chartered Fellow of the CIPD (retired).                               

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  • 0

    It is hard to say without any context, whether the comments you describe have been directed at you, or reported to you by others. It is possible, that the comments are a misplaced attempt at “black humour” or “banter”. 

    This is the sort of thing that was common in all-male workplaces a generation ago and the person may just be a “dinosaur”. 

    You can choose to confront it informally, personally and/or with the support of an assertive colleague, or supervisor. 

    If this behaviour was reported to more senior management, or a HR function, when one exists, then it would seem to be potential grounds for disciplinary action.

    Taken at face value these comments could be a serious example of bullying and harassment, worse than instances of wolf-whistling, cat calling or leering, that reputable employers mostly stamped out many years ago. Immediate dismissal, could potentially be a justified response by the employer, in my opinion, depending on any potential mitigating factors. 

    If this were a contracting situation, then I might expect the person to be excluded by the main contractor/client.  If such comments were directed at you in a hostile fashion, then the behaviour is potentially a criminal offence.   

    Having written the response, I noted your comment “I'm mostly asking for advice from other women working in engineering”. So sorry for jumping in, I just spotted the post by chance on a relatively infrequent foray into the forums. For full disclosure, I’m a Chartered Fellow of the CIPD (retired).                               

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