Rules and Guidelines
Want to participate in the discussions? Please read our Community Rules and Guidelines. Need some help? Visit Support and Answers.

  • State Not Answered
  • Locked Locked
  • Replies 13 replies
  • Subscribers 9 subscribers
  • Views 705 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
You may also be interested in
This discussion is locked.
You cannot post a reply to this discussion. If you have a question start a new discussion

Calvin Asks: How do I handle sexism at work?

CalvinTheEngineer

I've just started an adult apprenticeship as the first female in this specific trade.

Mostly I've felt welcomed but there is one colleague that, well, isn't welcoming.

So far I've tried not reacting but he seems to escalate because hes not getting a response. When I do respond, he becomes almost unresponsive and near impossible to work with (he will simply blank me). It's like he goads me but then becomes upset that a woman has 'questioned' him. Other colleagues have commented on how rude he can be towards me but mostly keep clear of it (I don't blame them).

I'm mostly asking for advice from other women working in engineering. How do i handle this? 

This job requires a great deal of trust in the people you're working with so I don't want to report him just yet as I know this could make others wary of working with me. At the same time I don't want to listen to his comments of "all women are prostitutes" and "once a woman's been bred they're no good" as well as being blanked completely.

Please help!

Exasperated of Exeter. 

 

Need advice but  too shy to ask? Have a question of a sensitive nature and would prefer to remain anonymous? Need to get something off your chest but worried about the boss (or your colleagues) finding out? Then Ask Calvin! Submit your questions confidentially to AskCalvin@theiet.org and Calvin will ask the community on your behalf to give you the anonymity you want to find the advice you need.
 

Parents
  • Former Community Member
    0 Former Community Member
    Exasperated,


    I was going to offer advice around challenging his misconceptions, in the past I've responded to sexist/racist jokes completely deadpan, and pretended I didn't get it, asking them to explain. It tends to be quite unsettling for the "joker" and you can see when they begin to realise they're not funny!


    But your last para describing some of his comments is actually quite scary and, no matter what the context or if he's saying it jokingly, that is not acceptable workplace behaviour. If he is "joking", I'd be tempted to tell him - in front of others - that he sounds like a serial killer, or something similar. Make him the joke - he might back off then. If he's coming across as serious, then I would speak to him, taking a colleague with you, and tell him his behaviour is not acceptable and that you will escalate the situation if it doesn't stop. You might also want to consider joining a union recognised by your employer and seeking their advice. 


    Whichever path you choose, you need to make it about him and his behaviour. It's not about guys having to tiptoe around us because we're delicate flowers, it's about their behaviour being inappropriate. It is possible he's just feeling insecure but that's not your issue and you shouldn't have to deal with it. Another post here is a great example of guys making their behaviour our fault, because we're too "sensitive", but it's their issue if they're acting like Neanderthals, not yours.
Reply
  • Former Community Member
    0 Former Community Member
    Exasperated,


    I was going to offer advice around challenging his misconceptions, in the past I've responded to sexist/racist jokes completely deadpan, and pretended I didn't get it, asking them to explain. It tends to be quite unsettling for the "joker" and you can see when they begin to realise they're not funny!


    But your last para describing some of his comments is actually quite scary and, no matter what the context or if he's saying it jokingly, that is not acceptable workplace behaviour. If he is "joking", I'd be tempted to tell him - in front of others - that he sounds like a serial killer, or something similar. Make him the joke - he might back off then. If he's coming across as serious, then I would speak to him, taking a colleague with you, and tell him his behaviour is not acceptable and that you will escalate the situation if it doesn't stop. You might also want to consider joining a union recognised by your employer and seeking their advice. 


    Whichever path you choose, you need to make it about him and his behaviour. It's not about guys having to tiptoe around us because we're delicate flowers, it's about their behaviour being inappropriate. It is possible he's just feeling insecure but that's not your issue and you shouldn't have to deal with it. Another post here is a great example of guys making their behaviour our fault, because we're too "sensitive", but it's their issue if they're acting like Neanderthals, not yours.
Children
No Data

Join us to get the best from IET EngX.

Joining EngX lets you personalise your experience so you stay up to date on the topics that interest you, plus you’ll be able to make connections who are looking to collaborate, exchange ideas and more.

Join us Not now

Community Rules & Guidelines