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Advice Needed - Balancing a Career and Family

Former Community Member
Former Community Member
Hello!



A number of members have asked for you to share your experiences of juggling a family and career in a demanding role.



These members have asked that I post this question for them, as they do not want to be identified by their organisation as raising it.  This is an open forum, after all and anybody can join - Not just IET members!



I often hear from women that work in a very physically demanding role, where working long hours, being on-call and demonstrating flexibility is expected.  These women love what they do but have concerns about starting a family, due to how it will be ''handled'' at work.



How do you manage it and can deciding to have a family, be detremental to your career? 



Is it possible to manage long hours whilst being on call and managing a family?



Are we still entitled to our current roles, if we decide to have a family?



What are our rights? 



What can women do if they are being discriminated against, because they want to start a family and return to work? 



If you have any advice or have faced an issue like this, how did you overcome it?



Is there anybody reading this that is willing to post on this forum but also take it offline, if needed?



Thank you in advance!

Jo Foster.









Parents
  • Hello

    I'm Sam(antha) Hubbard. I'll be 40 this year. I have two little boys, one who'll be 10 next week and another coming up to 9.

    I have worked at UPM Shotton all my professional life starting an apprenticeship here 20 years ago.

    I have worked full-time all the time I have been here apart from 2 x 6 month periods on maternity leave. I managed to work right up to the births, in work on the Monday and caesarean sections on the Tuesday. When I went on maternity leave I was still the only female in operations so there was very little understanding of how difficult it was, I believe with more females in the company it is now easier?



    I was also studying at university one day and evening per week and having to pay that time back starting at 6am rather than 8am each day, although, once the expectant mothers rule of not working over 40 hours kicked in, I did have a brief respite.



    It is not easy, I feel guilty when I'm in work (like tonight at 6pm) and I feel guilty when I'm at home (like last week when the school shut due to snow). But already you can see these issues manage to balance themselves out, I usually manage to be here when I am required and at home when I am needed there :-)



    My company has been brilliant! I manage a small team (currently 7) of engineers and senior technicians that all start work at 8am and I arrive about half past, if the morning has gone well, or 10 to 9 if the youngest didn't want to wear those particular socks!

    Although the company have been good giving me this flexible working, it's always difficult when you get into work and everyone else's day is off to a swing and you're busy playing catch-up.

     

    I don’t think I have ever given the company the chance to discriminate, I know I work hard for them and they appreciate that, it isn’t only women who have children, but unfortunately, it is women who naturally feel guilty about it.



    My husband has always been very supportive and that is crucial. He works in the same company which sometimes is a blessing but also a curse, we've been known to both be at work at midnight on a Friday and no-one actually wonders who's looking after the kids. My husband has been on-call and had to call me in, so we decide who is required most and swap over in the car park with the boys in the car. The practicalities are difficult but not insurmountable. Holiday periods are difficult as engineers don't get the holidays that schools have, but my boys are very independent and enjoy clubs like Forest School, sports clubs and Mad Science.



    The cost is difficult initially, with 2 children in nursery I worked for £11 a month which did not cover my petrol, but for me I enjoyed coming home to the family feeling fulfilled and ready to do mummy stuff! Later the cost of ‘after school clubs’ and ‘holiday clubs’ are then not as much of an issue.



    I am not officially on-call (negotiated) although I go through periods where I am called quite often, a good support network is essential, whoever it may be and my mum and dad are called upon every now and then.



    Having a family has definitely not been detrimental to my career, in fact, I think it helped take me out of the workshop environment and gave me more flexibility to build the team and role I really wanted to have.



    Most females in my workplace have chosen to come back part-time, every woman will feel different about what they want to do and your initial feelings may change once you have had a baby. The most important thing is to do what is right for you. If you are working for a company worth working for (good values) and you are valued by that company, hopefully you can find a balance that is right for you.

     

    I manage to do lots of other things too, it’s not all work and housework!

     

    I am a blue stripe in Tae kwon-do (3 times per week with the children too), yoga, running, climbing, swimming and biking (especially now the boys can come too!)

    I am a compulsive volunteer, whether it be volunteering for additional things in work, for example I teach First Aid and Automatic External Defibrillation, organizing events for our Positive Health Group and charity events, mentoring females in work and also at local schools and looking after our apprentices, all additional to my official role.

    I am also on the committee for the scout group organizing and running events and occasional helper.

    I spend a lot of my time also with the IET since engineering is my passion. I am on the Board of Membership and Professional Development (7 yrs I think), I have just finished 3 years on Council, I am a member of the Communities and Resource Committee and was on the Professional Home for Life Advisory Group. I am a mentor for the IET and also the contact for our company as a Business Partner. I am active too in the Local Network and am Forward Planning Officer as well as arranging numerous events and activities this year.

     

    Who says women can’t have it all!

     

    I must go, I want to be at home before the boys come back from swimming, I wish you all the best of luck and feel free to get in touch :-)
Reply
  • Hello

    I'm Sam(antha) Hubbard. I'll be 40 this year. I have two little boys, one who'll be 10 next week and another coming up to 9.

    I have worked at UPM Shotton all my professional life starting an apprenticeship here 20 years ago.

    I have worked full-time all the time I have been here apart from 2 x 6 month periods on maternity leave. I managed to work right up to the births, in work on the Monday and caesarean sections on the Tuesday. When I went on maternity leave I was still the only female in operations so there was very little understanding of how difficult it was, I believe with more females in the company it is now easier?



    I was also studying at university one day and evening per week and having to pay that time back starting at 6am rather than 8am each day, although, once the expectant mothers rule of not working over 40 hours kicked in, I did have a brief respite.



    It is not easy, I feel guilty when I'm in work (like tonight at 6pm) and I feel guilty when I'm at home (like last week when the school shut due to snow). But already you can see these issues manage to balance themselves out, I usually manage to be here when I am required and at home when I am needed there :-)



    My company has been brilliant! I manage a small team (currently 7) of engineers and senior technicians that all start work at 8am and I arrive about half past, if the morning has gone well, or 10 to 9 if the youngest didn't want to wear those particular socks!

    Although the company have been good giving me this flexible working, it's always difficult when you get into work and everyone else's day is off to a swing and you're busy playing catch-up.

     

    I don’t think I have ever given the company the chance to discriminate, I know I work hard for them and they appreciate that, it isn’t only women who have children, but unfortunately, it is women who naturally feel guilty about it.



    My husband has always been very supportive and that is crucial. He works in the same company which sometimes is a blessing but also a curse, we've been known to both be at work at midnight on a Friday and no-one actually wonders who's looking after the kids. My husband has been on-call and had to call me in, so we decide who is required most and swap over in the car park with the boys in the car. The practicalities are difficult but not insurmountable. Holiday periods are difficult as engineers don't get the holidays that schools have, but my boys are very independent and enjoy clubs like Forest School, sports clubs and Mad Science.



    The cost is difficult initially, with 2 children in nursery I worked for £11 a month which did not cover my petrol, but for me I enjoyed coming home to the family feeling fulfilled and ready to do mummy stuff! Later the cost of ‘after school clubs’ and ‘holiday clubs’ are then not as much of an issue.



    I am not officially on-call (negotiated) although I go through periods where I am called quite often, a good support network is essential, whoever it may be and my mum and dad are called upon every now and then.



    Having a family has definitely not been detrimental to my career, in fact, I think it helped take me out of the workshop environment and gave me more flexibility to build the team and role I really wanted to have.



    Most females in my workplace have chosen to come back part-time, every woman will feel different about what they want to do and your initial feelings may change once you have had a baby. The most important thing is to do what is right for you. If you are working for a company worth working for (good values) and you are valued by that company, hopefully you can find a balance that is right for you.

     

    I manage to do lots of other things too, it’s not all work and housework!

     

    I am a blue stripe in Tae kwon-do (3 times per week with the children too), yoga, running, climbing, swimming and biking (especially now the boys can come too!)

    I am a compulsive volunteer, whether it be volunteering for additional things in work, for example I teach First Aid and Automatic External Defibrillation, organizing events for our Positive Health Group and charity events, mentoring females in work and also at local schools and looking after our apprentices, all additional to my official role.

    I am also on the committee for the scout group organizing and running events and occasional helper.

    I spend a lot of my time also with the IET since engineering is my passion. I am on the Board of Membership and Professional Development (7 yrs I think), I have just finished 3 years on Council, I am a member of the Communities and Resource Committee and was on the Professional Home for Life Advisory Group. I am a mentor for the IET and also the contact for our company as a Business Partner. I am active too in the Local Network and am Forward Planning Officer as well as arranging numerous events and activities this year.

     

    Who says women can’t have it all!

     

    I must go, I want to be at home before the boys come back from swimming, I wish you all the best of luck and feel free to get in touch :-)
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