Based on what I've seen in various offices I think it's more often the employer who is the barrier, not the man.  I have seen men take calls in the office that their child has been injured at school and a parent is needed to go to the hospital, ask their manager to be allowed to leave and be told "Can't your wife do that?"  Similarly, as a union rep, I've had to support men requesting flexible working so they can pick their kid up from school and be told "Can't your wife do that?" or similar.  I have yet to see a woman refused flexible working for childcare or to leave the office due to a child beign ill or injured (they get refused for other things but not to care for children or other dependants).


To a certain extent it's chicken and egg, until more men take an active role in childcare it's going to be assumed to be the woman's demesne, but until more men are permitted to take an active role in childcare by taking parental leave, working flexibily or working from home we're not going to have the precedents to argue with managers (both male and female in my experience) who can't see why their male employee has to leave the office when his wife (or sister, girlfriend, mother, adult daughter or neighbour) could do so.  A big step forward woudl be to change the legislation on flexible working, parental leave etc. to make managerial consent expected and managers give an actual reason, in writing, for refusal that has to be confirmed by HR.

Based on what I've seen in various offices I think it's more often the employer who is the barrier, not the man.  I have seen men take calls in the office that their child has been injured at school and a parent is needed to go to the hospital, ask their manager to be allowed to leave and be told "Can't your wife do that?"  Similarly, as a union rep, I've had to support men requesting flexible working so they can pick their kid up from school and be told "Can't your wife do that?" or similar.  I have yet to see a woman refused flexible working for childcare or to leave the office due to a child beign ill or injured (they get refused for other things but not to care for children or other dependants).


To a certain extent it's chicken and egg, until more men take an active role in childcare it's going to be assumed to be the woman's demesne, but until more men are permitted to take an active role in childcare by taking parental leave, working flexibily or working from home we're not going to have the precedents to argue with managers (both male and female in my experience) who can't see why their male employee has to leave the office when his wife (or sister, girlfriend, mother, adult daughter or neighbour) could do so.  A big step forward woudl be to change the legislation on flexible working, parental leave etc. to make managerial consent expected and managers give an actual reason, in writing, for refusal that has to be confirmed by HR.