Here is another load of gadgetry I’ve dug up, so if you want to make your life lazier and stranger with this curious collection, go for it.
Parrot pot
Never be a plant murderer again
I know a few people that don’t have the knack for plant keeping. They just look at some foliage and POOF! It’s dead. I’ve even known someone to kill a cactus.
A lot of plants are cruelly neglected or drowned every day due to poor knowledge, bad luck or forgetfulness of their owners.
If you are the kind of person who can never let a flower fulfil its destiny because of your terrible parenting, you should get a Parrot Pot. Heck, get five. They’re only about £130 each.
You can become the horticultural master that you’ve always wanted to be. No more regular trips to the local garden centre to replace the plant that just keeps dying on you, but you still have hope so you spend your cash and murder its relatives again and again.
The Parrot Pot monitors the water, sunlight and heat your plant is getting, and tops up the liquid if the soil gets dry. But you have to replace the water in the actual pot, and it’s a smart device, so it’ll ping your phone if you forget.
Ford clever cot
Sounds weird, looks cool, could work
This is a baby cot that simulates a car ride. Tiny humans are often soothed by movement of a driving car, as it’s like being back in their mum’s tum.
It is a pretty cool move from the car maker and I reckon they could make some good money on this, especially from frazzled exhausted parents who are spending too much money on petrol, and time which could be spent snoozing.
According to Ford, parents can often expect little more than five hours sleep a night while losing the equivalent of 44 days sleep in the first year of their child’s life.
The smart cot, called Max Motor Dreams, is designed to work with a smartphone app, and the cot copies journey motion, sound and lighting.
I have a few friends who would love this. Make it a thing, Ford.
I also have some queries – does it have an F1 mode for extreme baby sleepers? Are racing stripes optional? Does it have a miniature steering wheel that doubles as a teething toy?
Mirage augmented reality cocktail menu
Get classy!
Not too sure this will take off.
It’s going to be featured in a Michelin-starred London restaurant and bar, City Social, and will “revolutionise the way we consume cocktails”. It’s called Mirage, and is billed as the world’s first AR cocktail menu.
Because pretension can always go one step further.
You point this app, created by Mustard Designs, in the direction of the cocktail you’ve ordered (it works with 12 types). Then the AR is supposed to transform the perception of the cocktail drinker and “bring their surroundings to vivid life”. Sigh.
Mirage takes work from artists like Van Gogh and Banksy to create a world “where great tasting cocktails become interactive art”. They’re using decent spirits from companies including Pernod Ricard, Diageo, William Chase and G’Vine, so if the AR drivel doesn’t make your world spin, the cocktails should.
It’s taken 18 months to create Mirage. The question is, will all this jazz make the cocktail taste better? Will I sip my beverage and then comment: “This is so good after my augmented experience with Banksy.”
No matter where you experience a drink, whether it be a sunny beach, romantic restaurant, or in a bog-standard pub – if it’s gross, it’s still going to taste horrible, no matter how much glitter you throw at it.
Not saying the cocktails are bad. They’re probably delicious. But enough with the pretention please.
Victorian anti-texting device
Go back to the future
Victorian anti-texting device, you say? That doesn’t make any historical sense!
No, it doesn’t. Yet car maker Nissan has used Victorian technology to help prevent texting while driving.
The engineers have created a prototype compartment within the armrest of a Nissan Juke lined with a Faraday cage, an invention dating back to the 1830s. Shoutout to Michael!
Around one in five people admit to illegally texting while driving, which is bizarre, seeing as you’re in control of over a ton of metal. But anyway, when the phone is popped in the cage and the lid is closed, the Signal Shield creates a ‘silent zone’, blocking all cellular, Bluetooth and Wi-Fi connections – though you can still listen to your music via USB.
Messaging causes a ridiculous number of accidents. If you text and drive, you deserve to go in a Faraday Cage for a little while.
Ford futuristic drones
The cute sketched doggies don’t mask the lazy factor
Ford employees made blueprints for futuristic drones for different lifestyle contexts, to apparently make people’s lives easier. There were pretty cool ones, like the Guide Dog drone and the
SOS drone, but I’m a bit perturbed by the Nanny Dog one.
The point with dogs is that they’re there to bring you companionship, love and cuddles. Taking your dog for walkies, giving it treats for being a good ‘boy’, and cleaning up its poop are vital components of the dog owner package. Yet this drone will do all that for you. So let technology love your dog like you never could, you lazy person.
I get that it would be a great idea for people who have to work and want their pupper to be happy while they’re away from home. I just hope that folks don’t take advantage of the drone thing and let it do all the work. Otherwise, what’s the point of owning a floofer?
I know it’s all speculative, but I can’t help wondering if this will be our future.