Some Advice Please

I would advise that the lady starts taking records of examples where the less competent male colleague is given work and favoured over herself.  She also needs to take records of the bosses behaviour towards her.  This means that if she can face having a meeting with her boss she has "hard" examples of behaviour and doesn't say things like "I feel that..." .  That doesn't mean that what she feels isn't important but the boss should find it harder to brush off the conversation.  It would be especially good if the lady could highlight where there were witnesses to his behaviour since that will also strengthen her case.



Can she find others who can support her both friends/colleagues within the company but also outside eg does the company have any sort of employee assistance scheme which provides independent advice and support?  If so, she should access it to see what help they can provide.  Searching the web for groups/ information may provide a useful source of information/assistance.



While it might be hard to write down this information, it can help to bring things into the open - shedding some light into dark corners can be quite beneficial even though it might be painful.



I hope that this helps.



Kind regards



Virginia

A further thought that might be of help.  IET Connect (www.ietconnect.org/) might be able to help if the lady doesn't have access to an Employee Assistance Program.  Their phone number is 0845 685 0685.  

Thank you very much for the advice Virginia and Kate.



This is very useful indeed.



Kind regards,

Jo

I would agree with Virginia, keep a log. I have done this twice when I was being bullied and once I had logged events I could objectively assess the situation and confront the bullies.  The first time the guy was mortified but agreed and bour relationship was fine from then on. The second time it enabled me to make the decision to change jobs since the endemic bullying in the company would not change.  Others though followed my suit.

I would also suggest asking a trusted colleague for their opinion if they are in the proximity during any of these incidents. The tendency once you get into a certain mindset is to over analyse everything, so a second opinion would help.



I also agree that it is a good idea to try and bring specific points up with your boss if you can. Its a worthwhile starting point to see if things can change. The problem is if you go higher up the chain, there is a risk that you would no longer feel comfortable working in your current position.